Bedouin Hospitality & Coffee Rituals – Unmatched Jordan

Bedouins (the desert people), the Nomads of the Middle East are said to be a very hospitable and a warm-hearted community. We had the opportunity to experience this hospitality and to hear firsthand of the complexity of the cultural traditions of this hardy desert tribe. On our Jordan tour, we stayed a couple of days at the Fenyan Eco-lodge, with a reputation of being one of the best eco-lodges in the world.

I had heard tales of Bedouin hospitality. Never thought I’d get the chance to experience it as well – During a lonely morning trek in the Dana Valley, I walked by small Bedouin house (in the middle of nowhere) and was pleasantly surprised by the lady of the house happily gesturing that I join with her family for tea! Reluctant with an apprehension of the usual – the locals expecting something from the tourist and the language barrier, I awkwardly joined in. Though communication was difficult, could not help get the feeling of genuine hospitality and the keenness to engage in a conversation with a total stranger! (India did not register – rather Hind-Kush was familiar!) The memory of this open-hearted gesture will remain with me for some time to come!

One of the ‘activities’ at the lodge is a visit to a Bedouin family – lead by the strong-minded guide (and astronomer, birder, story teller etc) – Suleiman Hasaseena. We realized that this is a routine programme for the guests – but the conversations with Suleiman on this small jaunt were anything with routine! Very proud of his community (Bedouins), his traditions & culture and his country, the fierceness of his belief was exposed in some sharp retorts to my persistent questions.

We have heard and read about tea-drinking culture in various communities (the most famous being the Japanese); but we are hard pressed to find such elaborate customs in coffee. On our ‘programmed’ visit to the Bedouin family for coffee, Suleiman explained in great detail on the manner in which Coffee is intertwined in Bedouin culture. Being expensive, it is not consumed on a regular basis like tea and is reserved for special occasions. An important part of the rituals and customs, attention ‘has to be’ paid to the manner in which coffee is made. Right from the selection of the wood on which coffee is heated, the manner in which the cardamom is ground, and the sequence of serving coffee to guests is subject to rules!

Making or serving coffee in the ‘wrong’ way can be interpreted as sign of disrespect. If the guest is unhappy with the taste of coffee, he will make it known and this is a blow to the host’s pride. If, however, the accusation of the guest is found ‘wrong’, the guest has to leave the gathering from the back entrance!!

Refusal by the elder guest to drink coffee served by the host is also considered to a sign of strong protest and the host has to make ‘efforts’ to convince the elder guest to accept the host’s hospitality. Suleiman will take pride in regaling you with stories of how his father convinced (or rather negotiated with) a reluctant host to give permission to his daughter’s alliance with a man (the prospective groom not being considered worthy enough by the Father) – all through the complex ritual language of coffee drinking!

I wonder why the song and dance of such rituals is necessary. I suppose in this complex world of human interactions – especially in a community of fierce fighters for whom respect and honour are of the utmost importance – these serve as an important communication tool, where mere words would be too direct, insensitive or simply not enough!